I had no intentions of returning to Southern California until August. Tis BFF’s birthday and the Cowboys are in Oxnard for training camp then San Diego for a pre-season game. However, three weeks ago BFF calls with the news she’s scored tickets to the Eclipse premiere. I’ve NEVER hid the fact that I’m a Twi-hard, so I’ve no taste for your haterade. Just be thankful the squealing 14 year-old stays contained within. And besides, I promise this is going somewhere.

At the premiere party...check out that mad tan line!

Although my financially-sound, better judgment attempted to be the decision maker on whether or not to fly out, it took all of 18 hours for it to be overpowered by my dominant better half who has a penchant for obsession. Not to mention my entire self needed a getaway before I went bananas in a bad way at work. So a plane ticket was booked, a dress was bought and the Disneyland annual pass was ready to go. It was time to go back, back to Cali, Cali. I must admit mixed feelings ensued. I’ve enjoyed my life in Dallas thus far, despite a work load and temperatures created by the Devil himself. I have a great duplex in a neighborhood I’ve wanted to live in for forevs, a 13-minute commute and access to all my long-term friends and family. The only thing missing right now is football season and the Spanish and/or French lover I’m on the hunt for to tide me over till I finally get my hands on Taylor Lautner (more on that later, duh!). So I knew this trip could have it’s emotional consequences. And it did, more so than I’ll tell anyone in person. I do NOT – let me infinitely repeat, do NOT – miss Los Angeles. The traffic, lack of parking, soul sucking atmosphere and kryptonitic cute Jewish boys…get a sister outta there, stat. However, California (not to be confused with LA, they are NOT one and the same) I miss so much it hurts my heart. I spent quite a bit of time on the beach at Crystal Cove (Newport) and it’s all I could do not to leave LAX in tears on Saturday. Had I possessed a job or a man I loved and gotten the hell out of LA, I don’t think I would have left. In no way do I regret my decision to move back to Dallas, I did what was best for me at that (and this) point. Having said that, there was a moment on Saturday morning, right as the sun broke through the June gloom, with my toes in the sand, that I realized the rest of my life is TBD and I am okay with that…FINALLY.

Breakfast with BFF on the beach...pure perfection!

So the entire trip was as perfect as it could have been. The premiere was fun, although  I DEFINITELY almost went bananas in a terrible, very bad way whilst in the trillion-person line to retrieve our cell phones after the screening. I fell absolutely, positively in love with little Taylor all over again. I still want to put him in my pocket, feed him Reese’s Puffs cereal and let him watch football with me. (If that’s all you think I want to do with/to him…you’re delusional). ANYWAY, pros of the after party were mac-n-cheese, Crumb cupcakes, champagne and I managed to look hot. Cons of the after party were decorations that looked like an illegitimate, deformed child of a  Costco camping display and a really bad prom. Carnations and fake snow do not make an appropriate center piece for most occasions, most of all for a premiere party for the biggest movie of the year. Just saying.

So TO THE POINT…the celebrity guest list for this gig was leaked hours before. It so happened to include Kim Kardashian. You just had an A-HA! moment, right? Let me just say, as far as I know, she wasn’t there. On the off chance she was and I ran into her (i.e. stalked her down after a bottle of Cabernet), I made a solemn public promise to friends and fellow Cowboys fans on Facebook that I would not cause a scene. Although I have tried to stay Team Switzerland on this issue, it appears I must make an official statement on the RUMORED union of Miss Kardashian and Miles Austin.

Let there be no mistake, the day I found out, my intern thought someone had killed one of my dogs and I made multiple threats (in my head) to cancel my Shoe Dazzle account. After sleeping on the issue, I discovered I’m as okay with it as possible. There are many reasons to actually like Kim, other than the fact she’s smoking hot. She has a real figure, talks about her cellulite publicly and started a shoe of the month club. And I gotta give her mad props for moving up in the football player food chain. The only set back in my acceptance of their RUMORED relationship was on Friday during cocktails with my Cowboys group in Santa Monica, I was informed that Kim and Miles were apparently cozied up one night at Casa Vega…my absolute favorite restaurant in my former neighborhood. Not gonna lie, I felt a little violated.

But you can take it to the presses that CLSL is officially, albeit maybe a little begrudgingly, okay with Miles Austin dating Kim Kardashian. But probably only till the Taylor Lautner high wears off. Let’s be honest.

You know you’ve been away too long when you come back to find the ads pop up for you as Overstock.com and some political campaign. Someone needs to get her priorities straight. Having said that, I have every intention of getting back into the swing of things. If I don’t die of mosquito bite poisoning. For those of you keeping score at home -  Mosquitoes: 26; Nikki: 0. Welcome back to Texas.

So this is what actually happened while you thought I was dead and look! I have pictures to prove it!:

1. The Cowboys beat the Eagles in the last game of the regular season to secure home field advantage in the Wild Card game. Yes, we’re going back that far. Because I can and life was good. Vindication for that bitch slap of a game we went through at the end of the previous year.

My last regular season game with the Cowboys group, sad!

2. The Cowboys ALSO beat the Eagles in the Wild Card game. 100 words could not describe how I felt that night. If God himself came down to Santa Monica and took me away I would’ve offered him a tequila shot and gladly gone with a smile on my face and “Such a Night” playing in my heart. Instead, I was left to my own drunken devices here on Earth. Too much Patron + Cowboys playoff victory that also marked the pillaging of the Eagles THREE TIMES in one season + random encounter with a cute Dallas boy who was also on a victory high = very questionable judgment.

It’s almost a blessing to my emotional state (and reputation) that we didn’t go any further in the playoffs.

I always ended up in the middle of these pictures. But look at that face! It was like my birthday and Christmas and possibly Valentine's Day all ended up on the same day!

...and I never stopped smiling.

Sorry just had to post one more. Best night ever. We waited a LONG time for this. And Mike looks like a pimp in this picture.

3. The Longhorns made it to the National Championship. And that’s about all I have to say to that. Not only did Colt McCoy and Jordan Shipley have to go through the most terrible “what the f**k was that sh*t?!” championship game, um, EVER…they both were rewarded with one-way tickets to careers in Ohio. Insult to injury, much?

They did not hook 'em...

Trust me, there is more…

..Continue reading..

One thing I’ve been adamant about regarding this blog is that it’s not your typical “come here for up-to-the-minute information and I’m just writing to hear myself talk expert analysis” site. There are plenty of those. Although half the time I DO know what I’m talking about, it’s more a bar hop through the crazy land of being a sports fan-ette. We’re out there, you  just have to dig to find the good ones. It’s like picking out good avocados. The mushy ones are useless and the unripened ones require too much patience.

I had some sports related encounters of the third and fourth kind this weekend. I made the comment a few weeks ago (don’t remember to whom, for all I remember it could’ve been to myself) that I feel like football season is going to be rather interesting. Not only in general and for the Boys, but for me, personally. For serious, had I known shit was actually going to happen I would’ve put something bigger out into the universe. Like, “I feel like Chris Evans is going to come knocking at my door…and my apartment will actually be clean at the time.”

A couple of weeks ago the LA Cowboys group I’m a part of posted a Facebook page. The first couple of days it was live I perused member profiles to seek out anyone I knew from last season. I clicked on this one dude, didn’t remember him from last year at first. When I jumped over to his profile, I  noticed he was friends with someone I sorta kinda knew back in Texas. Strange, but you’ve got my attention. So he pops in this past Friday night while we were all at Yankee Doodle’s for the last pre-season game and I bring it up. He says he went to high school with that one guy. Trust me, this isn’t a good thing, what could make it worse is if graduated in 2000.

Oh but he did.

Somewhat longer story short, this guy in MY Cowboys group (mine, all mine) played baseball and graduated with The Dreaded Ex. AND I actually knew him, as well, but didn’t remember him at first. I move 1,200 miles away from home to a city with over 4 million people and I run into someone like that. I call major shenanigans. It’s like my past is chasing me wielding a leather whip (and not in a good way).

U-C-ELLLLLLE-A

What makes it EVEN funnier (trust me, I’m not really laughing) is this past Saturday, as I’m heading to the UCLA game the person I’m meeting emails me and says there’s a guy in the group tailgating next to us who is a ginormous Cowboys fan and can’t wait to meet me. Excellent I say, just picked up my requisite bottle of Malibu (shouldn’t they be sponsoring this blog by now?) and am a few minutes away. I get to the Rose Bowl, have a few drinks, have some amazing grilled scrimp and over comes the Cowboys fan. Fingers crossed he’s cute, single and employed! And straight!

Swear to god, it’s another guy from the group.

Once we got the OH HOW FUNNY IS THIS outta the way and he went back to his peeps, I looked at my friend and was like okay that’s enough, where are the cameras? I don’t like being on this show anymore. Cause who was next? The guy from the high school hockey team (that I started) who I was redonkulously in love with for years, but I wasn’t good enough for, so he ruined my self-image for a good 10 years? No thanks, man. So then I started in on how true Cowboys fans must have internal magnets and we always attract one another no matter where we go. Trust me, it was a rather intriguing and well thought out theory at the time. Much like Carl’s Jr. chili cheese fries are at 3 a.m. under the same amount of influence.

Speaking of drinks, another virtual round to the Ladies… for the most excellent shout out.