You know you’ve been away too long when you come back to find the ads pop up for you as Overstock.com and some political campaign. Someone needs to get her priorities straight. Having said that, I have every intention of getting back into the swing of things. If I don’t die of mosquito bite poisoning. For those of you keeping score at home -  Mosquitoes: 26; Nikki: 0. Welcome back to Texas.

So this is what actually happened while you thought I was dead and look! I have pictures to prove it!:

1. The Cowboys beat the Eagles in the last game of the regular season to secure home field advantage in the Wild Card game. Yes, we’re going back that far. Because I can and life was good. Vindication for that bitch slap of a game we went through at the end of the previous year.

My last regular season game with the Cowboys group, sad!

2. The Cowboys ALSO beat the Eagles in the Wild Card game. 100 words could not describe how I felt that night. If God himself came down to Santa Monica and took me away I would’ve offered him a tequila shot and gladly gone with a smile on my face and “Such a Night” playing in my heart. Instead, I was left to my own drunken devices here on Earth. Too much Patron + Cowboys playoff victory that also marked the pillaging of the Eagles THREE TIMES in one season + random encounter with a cute Dallas boy who was also on a victory high = very questionable judgment.

It’s almost a blessing to my emotional state (and reputation) that we didn’t go any further in the playoffs.

I always ended up in the middle of these pictures. But look at that face! It was like my birthday and Christmas and possibly Valentine's Day all ended up on the same day!

...and I never stopped smiling.

Sorry just had to post one more. Best night ever. We waited a LONG time for this. And Mike looks like a pimp in this picture.

3. The Longhorns made it to the National Championship. And that’s about all I have to say to that. Not only did Colt McCoy and Jordan Shipley have to go through the most terrible “what the f**k was that sh*t?!” championship game, um, EVER…they both were rewarded with one-way tickets to careers in Ohio. Insult to injury, much?

They did not hook 'em...

Trust me, there is more…

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I actually kinda hate Florida

Cheers from sunny Orlando, Readers. I’m here for our industry’s second largest convention, basically we spend a week drinking, sucking up (or “schmoozing”, if you will) and watching movies. Good times. I was going to partake of Disney’s Animal Kingdom today. However, after being up for close to 36 hours -  naps on planes do not count as actually human sleep – I ended up in bed till Noon. Spent two hours (TWO HOURS!) in the gym, then enjoyed college football (poor Minnesota), lunch and reading poolside. This ONE day is as close to a vacation as I’m getting until sometime next year…if I’m lucky. I am going to Vegas in less than two weeks, that’s not vacation, drunken debauchery is a full-time job. Which I take seriously, thankyouverymuch. Tonight will be baseball and some Longhorn football in the hotel sports bar (which is quite nice) or a trip to Tampa for the Lightning/Sabres game. We shall see.

I'm a fan of the malfeasance fantasy football league

Anyhow, please don’t misconstrue this as blatant ass kissing, but I believe Kissing Suzy Kolber is one of the most badassest football blogs on the webternet. If you disagree with me you’re a humorless moron or Communist. Take your pick. I can appreciate a hot lady and dick jokes just as much as most. It comes with being an obsesser of football. Much like the acquired taste for beer I picked up about two years ago. Co-founder Michael Tunison penned a novel,  “The Football Fan’s Manifesto“. And if you fancy yourself a die-hard fan of all things gridiron and actually, you know, READ…books, not just blogs/stats/bullshit on the internet, you should pick it up toute suite. Actually, even if that is all you read you should pick it up. Cause it kinda makes fun of you. Thought you should know that.

I laughed many a times while reading this book, enough to make fellow morning gym rats question my mental stability. But they frighten me for different reasons, so I’m okay with that. Tunsion breaks down every single aspect of being a one-track minded football fan. I never thought I’d find myself reading a thought-out analysis of the various forms of high-fives. But that happened. I would say his pokes at Cowboys fans tarnished my amusement, but 1. he’s right and 2. I’m used to it.

Highlights for me were his ground rules for female fans (his anti-pink jersey stance that I totally effing agree with and already discussed here), the “Letter to Brian Westbrook Regarding His Questionable Playing Status for Sunday”, the detailed hatred for bandwagon fans and the consistent and accurate profiling of Eagles fans and their evilness.  Thus, I leave you with my favorite passage:

There are some stadia, stadia located in certain cities in the southeast corner of Pennsylvania, where it is unadvisable to root for the visiting team. Not that it’s necessarily bad form, but because you’ll be left for dead in a portable toilet and rolled down a hill.

It’s funny because it’s true. Not that I have or will ever try to find out for certain. I like taking risks, but I’m not retarded. I would have to lose a bet to the Devil himself to even think about going to a game in Philly. And I’ve been told even if I wore not a single thread of silver or blue, my “Cowboys accent” would give me away.

Readers, I really hate Mondays. The only things I hate worse than Mondays are the Eagles, Scott Gomez, the 101 and water chestnuts. What makes this Monday particularly atrocious: we open a movie on Friday so there’s potential for mutiny in the office, I HAVE to go grocery shopping after work and no one likes that (if you do, you’re a weirdo), I couldn’t care less about tonight’s MNF, I’m fighting off the bitterness of losing my first fantasy football game (by less than five points; McGahee – you’re on my shit list, son) and it’s so gloomy outside I should be at home under two blankets, snuggled with the pooches, watching Battlestar Gallactica, drinking hot chocolate topped with a scoach of Bailey’s. Mmm.

In a painful effort to be positive (blurgh) I do have to say that today is somewhat bearable because I managed to put makeup on before noon, am loving my new scarf from Old Navy, have a cold, cold Diet Coke on my desk (the elixir or life), the newness and lickability of the Taylor Lautner Rolling Stone photo shoot hasn’t worn off (my heart dies every time they put a football in that kid’s hands) and the interwebs are totes overloaded with Miles Austin.

Record breaking run

I feel like I’ve spent the last year and a half on the campaign trail for this young, blue-eyed wideout from Jersey (yeah, I try to forget that tidbit) to become the next President of the Dallas Cowboys Receiving Core. I don’t think ANYONE was ever listening to me or taking me seriously. Can’t really say I blame you, but it’s whatever now…cause eff you. Nikki FTW.

As an uber fan, it’s imperative to stick to your man through thick and thin. However, (here’s the segue from one version of today’s topic to the next…wait for it…) at what point does a TEAM stop sticking with a player through thick and thin? Tis a tricky predicament, that one. I hear this is a business, after all.

Last week I caught most of ESPN’S “30 on 30″ about Edmonton trading Gretzky to LA. Holy pucks the uproar that caused…the GM’s family even had to leave town. Koo koo Canadians. Not that I can blame them, that would be like America gifting the Statue of Liberty to Canada. We’d have to do more than just call shenanigans. Anyhow, in addition, several weeks ago PTI covered Phillies’ pitcher Brad Lidge’s horrific slump towards the end of the MLB regular season. Kornheiser commented that during the playoffs “you cannot put a guy out there you don’t have confidence in.” True story…perhaps?

How the Oilers and Phillies handled each of these situations was dependent upon what was best for the organizations, not what the fans wanted. In the end, Gretzky is now responsible for the explosion of hockey in Los Angeles, if not the entire Western United States and Lidge led the defending champs to a 6-5 victory over the Rockies last night to take a 2-1 lead in the NLDS. A personal example: I was destroyed when the Stars left Petr unprotected during the 1999 expansion draft and Atlanta took him. DESTROYED. But although his pro career didn’t last long afterward, he spent the majority of it in the NHL, made the All Star Team as a rookie and won a world championship. Chances are none of that would’ve happened if he’d stayed with the Stars. And I got to go to Atlanta and Calgary! Good times. Sometimes you just gotta let it play out.

Open issues

Having said that, there are some major issues on the table in Dallas. Do the Cowboys stand by Romo? Do the Stars stick with Turco? Both are huge fan favorites, but these aren’t questions that just popped up last week. These are 2-3 year-old problems. Neither of these guys have proved their worth in the playoffs. And right now neither of them are proving consistency in the regular season. I know it’s early, but again, these are long term open wounds. Not one of my mystery bruises that randomly pop up after I’ve been drinking. I don’t even know how *I* feel about what should be done. Although you’ll never see me wearing his jersey, I like Romo, he seems like a good dude. But damn. And Turco is even tougher. I have personal ties to him that make it heart-wrenching, so I kinda avoid talking about him. I really can’t imagine Marty on another team.

But at the end of the day, I’m honest enough to admit that my loyalty is to the teams over any individual player and selfish enough to say I want to see the Stanley Cup and Lombardi Trophy back in Dallas. No team should sell their souls for or buy a championship (*cough* Yankees) but changes, albeit temporarily hurtful to the fans, sometimes have to be made.

Fantasy draft in 14 hours! My shit’s all in order just in case I’m only half coherent in the morning. I’m nervous though…I told someone today it’s like the first day of school, you just want to get there, get it over with and find out who is your damn class. You’re all please don’t let me be stuck next to guy who smells like baked beans all year. You know what I mean, Vern? Anyhow, I’m not sure which I want more: to win my league (finally) or to beat my friend Ray.  I’m gonna be greed city and go with both.

Obviously I visit loads of sports sites on a daily (hourly?) basis. I only comment on a few sites/forums just because I’m too lazy to get into it with people. I rarely have patience for morons, which is odd because I comment at KSK the most.  I find that talking about sports, especially football, ranks up there with religion and politics. The only difference for me personally is I can keep my mouth shut when it comes to the last two. However, that doesn’t mean I don’t try to keep up on current affairs and am open-minded about other choices and opinions that differ from my own. And I believe, if you fancy yourself a true fan or connoisseur of a sport, you should attempt to do the same.

I won’t go into specifics, but the other day someone on a Cowboys “forum” I frequent posted an update about Brett Favre’s inability to gel in the Vikings locker room. I read it, thought it was interesting (but didn’t really find it surprising, nor should anyone). Someone responded along the lines of he didn’t care about Favre or the Vikings, he only cared about the Cowboys. My first response was “crimeny, what a typical American ass-hole.” A bit of an unfair statement? Perhaps. A little true? Seriously. That’s a minor example of why Cowboys fans have such a bad rep.

I’m not saying you should be interested in every single team in the league and know every player’s dog’s name. Just saying you should probably look around. Playing fantasy you obviously HAVE to. However, being up-to-speed on what’s going on in the league, your conference and DEFINITELY your division doesn’t hurt. You don’t who you could face in the playoffs, the conference championship or the Super Bowl. No matter how asinine it is, the Vikings are picked to get far this year, if not all the way (lame), by a lot of talking heads; they’re in the NFC and we play them the last pre-season game. So in a lot of ways, it does have to do with the Cowboys. Maybe I’m just being a nerd, I don’t know. OR maybe I don’t like sounding like a retard.

I have to admit though, as open-minded as I am about religions and politics, some things I won’t budge on…like my opinion (the FACT!) that all Eagles fans are dicks.

From What Might Have Been after the season finale in Stupiddelphia (I’m so mature):

if they show Dawkins doing that wretched Fly Eagles Fly dance one more time, I swear I will fly to Philly and personally shove a football down his throat and pull it out his ass

Since I’m such an adult, I’ve been trying to come up with a Facebook status update all day long to convey how ecstatic I am that he gave the Eagles the boot (or vice versa?!) I don’t think too many people would argue with me when I say Dawkins was the heart of the Eagles. If the Eagles actually, you know, had a heart. And since Uncle Jerry refuses to acknowledge the disaster that was 2008 and do a damn thing about it, seeing “Safety Brian Dawkins signs 5-year deal with Broncos” on the SportsCenter ticker may have turned me on just a smidge, gotta love it when bad things happen to bad people (i.e. Philly fans). But hey, on the upside – what a fantastic early birthday present for me!

In other news, has anyone else ever thought that Kitna looks like he could belong to some sort of shady white supremacist organization? Not saying he does (good grief), just saying…he looks like it. Kinda scares me. Having said that, welcome to Texas, Jon? I’ll make no further tacky comments or associations between the state and backasswards idealism since it’s Texas Independence Day and I should show some allegiance. And I actually do miss the place. Crazy white people aside. And if nothing else happens this off-season (and that’s what I am guessing is actually going to happen), at least we got a better back-up QB.

I just got of air with KARN in Little Rock to discuss our broadcast of the FedEx BCS National Championship Game in LIVE 3-D next week. I was a little nervous because they brought me on to discuss the sports part as opposed to the technical details, which my boss was on the line for. They let me go off about how painful it is to be working on an OU game, that was sweet of them. Hopefully I can get a copy of it to post. This is all RIDICULOUSLY EXCITING!  Here is the trailer for the BCS event:

BCS trailer on YouTube

Anyhow, I can’t avoid talking about it any longer and I’m sure you’ve been waiting on extra painful pins and needles for this…so I shall come to Jesus with what a dismal and disappointing season this has been as a die-hard Cowboys fan. I ain’t gonna lie to you, it f*cking sucks. Back in September, I would’ve put big money on a Cowboys/Chargers Super Bowl. Thank God I’m not actually a betting sorta lady (I stick to the nickel slots if I actually pause the drinking long enough to gamble in The Vegas).

As much as I love them, they disgust me right now and more than deserved to be stripped down and humiliated against the Eagles. I am not going to be a fan who makes excuses or denies how horrific the situation is. They didn’t show up, they have no heart and they have no balls. I sat there and watched every single excruciating moment of that game. A game that hurt me for SO many reasons. I couldn’t even muster up the strength to say out loud “if they show Dawkins doing that wretched Fly Eagles Fly dance one more time, I swear I will fly to Philly and personally shove a football down his throat and pull it out his ass.” (I hope my dad isn’t reading this…) Eric kept asking me why I was still watching, it was because I couldn’t stop. I had to know it was real, that yes, it was possible for them to allow it to get worse and worse. That MB3 fumble for a TD was an extremely sharp knife to my heart, but by that point I’d stopped feeling anything.

I would like to think the hell they’ve got themselves into will force drastic changes. But because Wade is Jerry’s little bitch, it ain’t gonna happen. As discussed with my friends and my father, this just screams too loudly of Cowboys history. Barry ruined the team that Jimmy built. Wade has ruined the team that Bill built. The only difference is at least we brought a trophy home under Barry before it all went to shit. I am not saying Wade is a bad coach, but he belongs on a very different sort of team. We need someone to come in with goddamn whips and chains (and not the fun fuzzy kind). And I call major shenanigans on “Wade is going to toughen up.” Right…and my New Year’s Resolution is to give up alcohol.

As for the men (if that’s what you want to call them) on the field – Pac is a waste of space. He was insignificant on the field for the games he

Let it be.

actually played. But he actually hurt us several times in Philadelphia. Hurt us off the field, shame on you. Hurt us on the field, shame on us and here’s a plane ticket up out of Dallas. TO is a waste of emotional energy. We do not need him. When he’s good he’s good, but when he’s bad he’s awful and takes no responsibility. Kicking his mouth out will be a ginormous first step to fixing that locker room and building an actual TEAM. We have three young wideouts who with more field time have the potential to become amazing (and no, I’m not just saying that because I would have Austin’s babies). In addition, even though I think he has a lot to think about and work on, Romo will be a better QB without TO. Fix the offensive line. You have one of the best running backs in the NFL and he can’t run. That sirs, is a problem. Ditch Flozell. The penalties are out of control and he’s a big reason. This isn’t rocket science. And as much of a beast as he is, as amazing as he is, Ware can’t do it all. But James and Ratliff give us hope on D. And hope of any sort is good. Last but not least, find some passion. We, the fans, never lost it…but you, the players, did. Even though Bradie James may not show up to peoples’ offices and tell them how to do their jobs, you are professional athletes and by all means ARE accountable to us because we pay EVERY PENNY of your salaries.

Many a times I’ve thought to myself, well, we could be the Lions. I’m optimistic enough to know that Jerry will never let us go 0-16. But what’s the difference right now between taking a 13-3 team that was expected to win the Super Bowl (btw, expectations are crap), letting them implode and miss the playoffs versus just being a winless mess? The heartbreak is just the same.

However, I REFUSE to end this sounding like a crybaby, cause it’s now all in the past…it’s 2009, bitches! Happy New Year from CLSL! Hope you brought in the new year as well and as wasted as me.

With everything I read and watch about sports, it’s sometimes difficult to retain ALL the information. I have to leave SOME room for shoes, what happened on this week’s Grey’s Anatomy and actual current events. And there’s only so many brain cells left that alcohol hasn’t killed (those we lost, they put up a good fight). I tend to remember the info under the categories of “random crap” or “crap I disagree with”.

FOR EXAMPLE, sometime last week I caught up on some Stars reading at the Dallas Morning News website. Mike Heika has always been the main man for the Stars over there and I’ve generally never had issues with him. He was hockey when hockey wasn’t cool. However, during a recent Q&A this is pretty much how it went…

Q: What should the Stars do about Coach Tippett? A. Blah blah blah or wait till the summer.

Q: What should the Stars do about Marty Turco? A. Blah blah blah, no trade clause, blah blah blah or wait till the summer.

Q: What should the Stars do about this ridiculous system of having two GMs? Especially two GMs who have compeletley different playing philosophies? A. WAIT FOR IT…blah blah blah or wait till the summer.

DUDE, it’s freakin’ DECEMBER! I don’t care to wait until goddamn June to fix my bottom the the barrel team. A

Would the real Turco please come home?!

team that, need I remind you, made it to the Western Conference Finals last season. Please to be fixing them sometime within the near futute, thanks! Heika’s argument is that in the 15 years the Stars have been in Dallas, we’ve rarely seen lean times. I call shenanigans. With the talent this team has, how far they got last season, there is no excuse. My advice? Ditch a GM and make a change in coach. I guarantee you, we’ll at least get our goalie back in form if that goes down. I know things.

Maybe I’m a little bit frightened that I find myself checking to see how the Kings did before I see if the Stars even played. Just because IF the Stars did play, the inevitable outcome would be another kick in the balls. (Please note I don’t actually have balls).

Speaking of disgruntled fans, EXAMPLE TWO, I was watching today’s PTI while whipping up some din din and one of the boys, while discussing the fate of Donovan McNabb, said Philly fans are all about “what have you done for me lately.” This comment has me torn in two. The bitch in me who loathes Philly fans says kharma is a dirty whore and she’ll f*ck you over when she can. Therefore, if you put a little more nice into the universe you might just get a little bit more back! However, the sypathetic fan in me (and I’m not happy about saying this…) wonders if you can really blame them for being dicks about it? The Eagles have never been able to seal the deal. Although that colors me all sorts of giddy (sitting on top of 5 Super Bowl championships, no less), it has to suck to be them. Having said that, hell hath not frozen over, I will never be able to tolerate them (there’s an exception to every rule, however) and they’ve got the World Series to nurse for awhile…just saying I CAN look at two signs of the coin. Otherwise, I’d be contradicting all the whining I just did about the Stars. Think about it.

Yesterday was Thanksgiving in the United States of America, which for me has forever meant lots of food and football. Apparently now it also means having a wicked hangover and praying death wouldn’t officially take me until the Cowboys game was over. Only the Lions were more miserable. Having actually survived, I decided it was time for me to write Things I’m Grateful For: The Football Version.

Tony Romo’s healed pinkie finger. Or at least that he decided to stop being a pussy about it. Looking ahead…Dear Santa, we need a better back-up QB.

My fantasy team. As mentioned in a previous post, I’m the only girl in a league of 16 teams. I’ve bounced back and forth between 2nd and 3rd place all year, currently in 3rd with a playoff spot secured. Taking a chance on Rodgers paid off, drafting Palmer did not. Picking up Slaton was my best move, but I should’ve had a better defense. Anyhow, I shall be even more grateful should I kick Ray’s ass this weekend.

The guy who proposed to me on KSK.

@Nikki

Okay let me get this straight. You live in California, root for the Cowboys and have a passionate hatred for the Eagles.

Will you marry me?

Speaking of which…

Sitting on top of the Eagles in the division. It feels so good. I hope we kick them while they’re down come Dec. 28. What I’m not grateful for? Having to root for the Giants to win this week against the Redskins. That doesn’t feel good at all, makes me feel dirty (not in a good way). But it’s a necessary evil, because come the end of the year it won’t matter who we’re on top of without a wild card spot. I’m not retarded.

My 2008 training camp shirt

What this season has meant to me. Not to get all sappy, but this season has been a blast so far…despite Brad Johnson and those atrocious three weeks. Training camp in Oxnard, discovering the Cowboys group here in LA, fantasy season, hanging out at the sports bars on Sundays, starting this blog…next to my friends, football season has been a saving grace in an otherwise extremely shitty year. And yesterday was the first major holiday I’ve spent with absolutely no biological family, but the Cowboys were still on my TV…that’s a little piece of home for me. Thank you, Tex Schram.

And last but not least…

I can't make it stop

Miles Austin. Just because I said so.

And P.S. Thank you to all the KSK readers who have been popping over the last few days. My traffic has doubled because of you guys. It took me awhile to actually comment over there, but I figured I think just as dirty and about football as much as you fools, so what the hell.

Pac is back. Uncle Jerry can’t seem to get anyone to attend his Welcome Home Adam Party, rightfully so. History and a good dose of common sense tell me Pac accomplished not a damn thing in rehab. But in the spirit of being optimistic, one can hope if he didn’t learn that he’s a dick, he at least re-learned how to return the freaking ball. Something the Cowboys don’t know how or refuse to do. Jury is out on that one.

Since there is nothing we can do about this, we can at least laugh (at ourselves). Big Daddy Drew at Kissing Suzy Kolber will make you pee your pants here, OH HELLZ YEZ.

What makes this situation, this season, even more ridiculous is we were due to get Felix Jones back, right? No, apparently we lose at fandom for thinking that. He’s out for the season because he has to have surgery on a toe ligament (yes, I said toe) that he injured while rehabbing his previous injury. I don’t even know what to say to that. I’m glad MB3 got the coverage he needed to last week to be able to run again. And I’m glad our third string RB is much more pleasant to watch play as opposed to, you know, our third string QB.

Bitch bitch bitch. And I haven’t even said anything about Miles Austin being hurt. (I had to insert a reference at some point, because for weeks I was the featured blog for the Miles Austin tag on WordPress…WHADDUP).

I watched the Skins game back home in Dallas. That was intriguing, being in a bar where all the people are cheering for the same team (except for this one fool, but he got shut the f*ck up). And not having to worry about some drunken idiot picking on me because he thinks I don’t know what I’m talking about since my Cowboys cap is pink, he hates Dallas and/or the majority of the girls at LA sports bars on Sundays are there to continue the whoring from the night before. (Good grief, I’m in a mood today).

I am going to blame my foulness on Lee Evans. Thanks to stellar performances from several of my key players this week, I was down a mere .13 points going into MNF. Not 13 points, not 1.3 points…down .13 points. That ass hole had to make ONE 20-YARD CATCH. That’s it. No touchdowns, no 90-yard sprints. Just a simple catch or hell, two, if the first wasn’t long enough (that’s what she said). He’s had a good season, gotten me plenty of points. The win was in the bag. BUT NO. I flew back to LA Monday night and crashed as soon as I got home, forgetting and the game was over. Tuesday morning comes around, I log on, see Lee Evans with a 0.00 next to his name and think “no that can’t be right….is he hurt…did he die?…is it still Monday?…GOD WHAT DID I DO?” So I click on his notes and Yahoo tells me “Evans failed to catch a pass in Monday’s loss to the Browns.” And I swear at one point it read “so suck it, Nikki Lee” afterward. But since has disappeared.

This post? Kinda pointless. I just wanted to talk football since it’s been Stalking Hockey Players 101 for awhile. Still love the Cowboys, still have hope. Still hate the Eagles. Still waiting for the Giants to bust one of their overrated seams.

P.S. I wish I was joking when I say someone got to this blog by searching for “chris collinsworth nude”. There are some sick individuals in this world, yo.

So both of my teams suck right now. It hurts bad. So bad. Please note that I know I’m spoiled. Luckily, the Stars had five days off (and beat beat those nasty birds down at The Pond last night, which is good because it was their first game within the division) and the Cowboys are on a much needed bye this weekend (and I will be on a much needed No Sports Bars on Sunday break). I do hope all players get rested, recovered, refreshed, laid, drunk, fixed…whatever it takes to get MY LIFE back on track. Because, after all, this is about me.

The schedule tells me the Giants and Eagles play this weekend. Whoever wins, I lose. Sigh.

Me and Cathalee

In the spirit of being optimistic and remembering the somewhat good times, I am finally posting pictures of the Cowboys/Bengals game I went to while in Dallas last month. My last game in Texas Stadium. And although it should’ve been a blowout (and wasn’t), was the second game where things started looking…off and I was exhausted as hell from two nights of drinking my way through my high school reunion, it was WONDERFUL. Remember the last TD where the ball went through my boyfriend’s Miles Austin’s hands right into Patrick Crayton’s in the end zone? That was our corner, I was right above it. It was AMAZING. The Bengals fan behind me goes “you’ve got to be f*cking kidding me.” I told my friend Eric this over text, to which he responds “turn around and go ‘you know this is Texas Stadium, right? The hole in the ceiling? So God can watch .’”

And so humble, too.

Thoughts about the Texas Stadium crowd: I didn’t know so much white trash was allowed to convene in one place; the best taunt goes to the dude in front of us who kept yelling out “a Bengal tiger is a gay tiger”; and the best pick-up line goes to the rather drunk fella (seriously, he was falling asleep sitting up, halfway through the 3rd quarter) sitting on the other side of my friend Cathalee, who told her her glasses were hot and made her look “specstual”. Can’t make that up, kids.

Cathalee’s camera pretty much rules, by the way. Some of these pictures look like I could reach out and slap Romo. Which, lately…

Anyway, enjoy. And P.S. I hate you NFL Network. Apparently you’re just too good for me and my cable. Bloody DirecTV, with its fancy NFL and NHL Networks and having the monopoly on Tim Riggins until January. Whatever.

P.P.S What is going on here? Greece is stealing basketball players (which reminds me, must follow basketball) and Russia is stealing hockey players? I’ve been trying to steal hockey players for years…glad someone figured it out.

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