You know you’ve been away too long when you come back to find the ads pop up for you as Overstock.com and some political campaign. Someone needs to get her priorities straight. Having said that, I have every intention of getting back into the swing of things. If I don’t die of mosquito bite poisoning. For those of you keeping score at home -  Mosquitoes: 26; Nikki: 0. Welcome back to Texas.

So this is what actually happened while you thought I was dead and look! I have pictures to prove it!:

1. The Cowboys beat the Eagles in the last game of the regular season to secure home field advantage in the Wild Card game. Yes, we’re going back that far. Because I can and life was good. Vindication for that bitch slap of a game we went through at the end of the previous year.

My last regular season game with the Cowboys group, sad!

2. The Cowboys ALSO beat the Eagles in the Wild Card game. 100 words could not describe how I felt that night. If God himself came down to Santa Monica and took me away I would’ve offered him a tequila shot and gladly gone with a smile on my face and “Such a Night” playing in my heart. Instead, I was left to my own drunken devices here on Earth. Too much Patron + Cowboys playoff victory that also marked the pillaging of the Eagles THREE TIMES in one season + random encounter with a cute Dallas boy who was also on a victory high = very questionable judgment.

It’s almost a blessing to my emotional state (and reputation) that we didn’t go any further in the playoffs.

I always ended up in the middle of these pictures. But look at that face! It was like my birthday and Christmas and possibly Valentine's Day all ended up on the same day!

...and I never stopped smiling.

Sorry just had to post one more. Best night ever. We waited a LONG time for this. And Mike looks like a pimp in this picture.

3. The Longhorns made it to the National Championship. And that’s about all I have to say to that. Not only did Colt McCoy and Jordan Shipley have to go through the most terrible “what the f**k was that sh*t?!” championship game, um, EVER…they both were rewarded with one-way tickets to careers in Ohio. Insult to injury, much?

They did not hook 'em...

Trust me, there is more…

..Continue reading..

You think this post is going to be about football now, don’t you? No, no…think again, Readers, THINK AGAIN. This is more or less a conversation between me and the BFF last weekend:

Me: I found me a cowboy!!!

Her: Like a real live one?

Me: Um, yes. Not the kind the plays football on my TV. The kind that wears hats, buckles and…BOOTS! Not, you know, helmets and spandex.

So basically, CLSL has gone country. Not that it was THAT much of a stretch, really. I already have someone telling me I sound like the talking pothole on the Geico commercial. Whatevs, he’s from Jersey and likes the Eagles. Therefore, doesn’t count. A little background (as if you don’t already know enough about me), I grew up in a hardcore farming, ranching and rodeo family. Bull riders, barrel racers, team ropers. Lots of cows. Mainly bull riders. I flirted with the idea of barrel racing when I was much, much younger. But I’ve not been on a horse in probably 20 years. About as country as I’ve gotten over those years is attending Eli Young Band shows at Gilley’s in Dallas and helping my mom feed horses the last time I was home. The year I grew out of my rodeo phase is coincidentally around the same time I grew ginormously into hockey. Much to the chagrin of my mother. Having said that…apparently there’s still hope she’ll get the daughter she’s always wanted.

Fireworks! Confetti! Big shiny trucks!

Readers you know I went to Vegas this past weekend. I failed to mention (quite possibly on purpose) is it was actually for the PBR World Finals. That would be pro bull riding, not Pabst Blue Ribbon…seriously. Let me rephrase that, I went to Vegas to see my family…my family went to Vegas for The PBR. My dad is totally a bull rider groupie. It’s awesome. I had no intention of actually attending any of the rounds. I just wanted to drink. A lot. Then sleep that off and go drink some more. (I did that too, don’t you worry…apparently I like Jack now?). After arriving on Thursday I found out there are AFTER PARTIES each night. My dad goes “would you be interested in going to that?” Silly father, have we met? Where do you think I got my drinking gene from!?

So the rest of the story goes something like this: Girl goes to the first after party. Girl drinks. Girl meets hot cowboy (again, the real kind!). Girl drinks more. Girl really likes hot cowboy. Hot cowboy seems to like girl and is ridiculously charming (though her Mama taught her better about them cowboys). Girl all of the sudden decides to go to bull riding next night. Girl drinks some more. Girl finds out that YES, she does like bull riding. Now she is HOOKED. The end.

Not really.

They don't need no stinking red cape

But seriously, bull riding is the shit. I was tremendously entertained that Sean Willingham comes out of the chute to “Ice Cream Paint Job” (I’ll forgive him the fact it was stuck in my head for FOUR DAYS…PS I love him). The PBR calls bull riding “the toughest sport on earth”. That ain’t no lie. I grew up around this crap and still tend to forget how ridiculously dangerous it is. As if the bull rider himself isn’t cookoo panties enough, the bullfighters are downright masochists. And I’m not talking about the kind that come in red capes and gold get-ups. You know them as rodeo clowns. Ain’t gonna lie to you…IT’S ALL KINDA HOT. These boys have grown up doing this, rodeo is TRULY a way of life. They probably mounted (haha, mounted) their first bull before their voices changed. Their fathers did it. Their grandfathers did it. And trust me, rodeo wives put up with massive bullshit (no pun intended). Not only do they suffer WEEKS of separation, but also? Buckle bunnies are much worse than any puck bunny I’ve ever met.

Million dollar cowboy

So I guess you can take the girl out of the country and she can do EVERYTHING in her power for two decades to rid herself of the country, but…it don’t work. Can’t take the country out of the girl and it might just slap her in the face one night wearing a black felt hat and Southern smile.

Poor Miles Austin, he’s gotta make room for “the real live kind” now. Bless his heart.

P.S. To your left you will find 2009 World Champion Kody Lostroh. Ladies, I TOLD YOU SO. I fancy myself a Luke Snyder and Willingham girl, though. When the Ladies… are up for a hump day hotties rodeo version (should it not have already been done)…call me. I got this.

All pics are from ESPN.com’s Rodeo and Professional Bull Riding section cause by golly they actually have one…who knew?!