It’s been a very, VERY busy time at CLSL the last 12 days. And I have you to thank for that, Readers. Well, mostly Miles Austin and all the crazyspices searching for information about his personal life or pictures of him nekkid. But you, too. In those 12 days my hits have been into the multitudes of thousands, numbers I’d reached all together in the MONTHS leading up to the switch to the official domain. Months, not days. It’s pretty bad ass. Because of that I made a few changes. I fancified the header, having Photoshop back in my life has its advantages. Thanks, again, to the quote from LittleMoe. Anyone who uses Varsity Blues to compliment a person is aces in my book. I re-did the about me section and added an FAQ page. Did I make most of the questions up? Absolutely. However, I just KNOW that people actually think them.

It’s search term share time again. As always, I’ve got some doozies. The stuff you people look for on the interwebs is astounding. But entertaining nonetheless. Especially since it somehow leads you here. I’ll take what I can get.

1. “[insert several athletes names here] nude.” Next to general searches for Miles Austin and Jamie Langenbrunner, pervs looking for nekkid athletes is at the top of the list of what leads people here. I hate to disappoint them ALL, but there’s nothing here about any nude players. That’s better left for the imagination.

…wait, what were we talking about?

2. “lady giants patron.” I don’t even know what this means. And it’s generated several hits. Am I missing out on something? Is this some new hip cocktail the kids are drinking?

3. “me at the bengals game.” I’m dead serious. Someone typed that in. I know how it led them here, but still, it’s hilarious. What goes through someone’s head when they search for that? Let me do some googling to find out if there’s anything about me being at a pro football game. Cause I’m kind of a big deal.

Not really. But welcome!

4. “matt niskanen lost myself lyric.” Hmmm…a Niskanen original recording? “matt niskanen dating”. I wouldn’t call what young hockey players do dating. “real men wear pink niskanen ad campaign.” A hockey player, recording artist AND model…apparently.

5. “tony romo gay caught with marion barber”. SERIOUSLY? Whoever you are, I’m glad you have the internet to hide behind. Barber will cut you.

6. “miles austin eye color.” They’re a color I like to call GORGEOUS. (Too much?)

7. “character traits of Donovan McNabb.” Is mentally unstable a character trait? How about insecurity? Jackassery? I’ll stop.

8. “ed hochuli penis.” I can’t make this up. Cause WHY would I make that up?

9. “crazy lil sports lady.” True story! And that’s me! *waves*

10. “taylor lautner longhorn.” HA! My plan, it’s working…

The downside of talking about Taylor is the sudden appearance spam comments linking to naked pictures of Miley Cyrus and Kim Kardashian. Since THOSE are applicable to this blog. Well, apparently anyone naked is. Good times.

1999 was a good year, Readers. That’s the year the Stars won the Cup and although it was AMAZING, it ended up rather bittersweet. You know how in relationships sex changes everything? In sports, championships change everything. I’ve touched on this before, but to recap..the Stars were rather accessible (a little to accessible at times) before Lord Stanley came to Dallas. Practices were completely open, players were cool, ticket prices were awesome and I knew the ins and outs of Reunion Arena like the back of my hand. The Stanley Cup and American Airlines Center being built changing all that, coupled with me generally growing up, forced my hockey life into the shitter.

Triple, triple, toil and trouble

I honestly never thought I could get my mojo back. Oh me of little faith. In an effort to mentally escape the terror that is work right now, I’ve spent the last couple of days getting hockeyfied. Holy pucks, it feels good. Like the perfect margarita kinda good. I’ve been reading blogs, skimming season previews from all over, watching videos, analyzing Brenden Morrow’s various hairstyles, wondering what moisturizer Modano uses cause his skin looks too good for his age and the life I know he’s led AND I joined a fantasy hockey team – time to get back in the know. In addition, I took advantage of the internet and old hockey friends to find a new player to love on. It’s like online dating, but a very, very Nikki version.

Someone should warn Matt Niskanen. Or at least tell him he’s lucky I’m 1200 miles away. Cause I used to be good at this game and I’m assuming it’s like riding a bike.

Player obsessions aside, I LOVE hockey. I’ve never figured out how and why I took to it as fast and as well as I did back in 1993. I was 13 and not really into anything other than a dwindling fascination with Christian Slater and the kid who played Spot in Newsies. I grew up in Texas in a rodeo family, something I wasn’t ever quite into despite my mother’s numerous attempts. Hockey was foreign where I came from, but new, intriguing and eventually helped shaped my individuality. I was hockey when hockey wasn’t cool. I owe my best high school and college memories to hockey, hockey players and hockey friends. I don’t think I ever really lost that part of my life, it’s still been there, aging like a fine wine perhaps? I sipped a little of it last year. But now it feels like I’m coming home. And I think it’s time for a welcome home party, yes? *cue music from someone getting her sass on in a CW preview here*

Have a happy NHL opening weekend, Readers! For Stars/hockey fans visiting CLSL for the first time, what I refer to as “My Hockey History” can be found here: Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3. But you’ve been warned, it’s a wicked trip down memory lane.