You know you’ve been away too long when you come back to find the ads pop up for you as Overstock.com and some political campaign. Someone needs to get her priorities straight. Having said that, I have every intention of getting back into the swing of things. If I don’t die of mosquito bite poisoning. For those of you keeping score at home -  Mosquitoes: 26; Nikki: 0. Welcome back to Texas.

So this is what actually happened while you thought I was dead and look! I have pictures to prove it!:

1. The Cowboys beat the Eagles in the last game of the regular season to secure home field advantage in the Wild Card game. Yes, we’re going back that far. Because I can and life was good. Vindication for that bitch slap of a game we went through at the end of the previous year.

My last regular season game with the Cowboys group, sad!

2. The Cowboys ALSO beat the Eagles in the Wild Card game. 100 words could not describe how I felt that night. If God himself came down to Santa Monica and took me away I would’ve offered him a tequila shot and gladly gone with a smile on my face and “Such a Night” playing in my heart. Instead, I was left to my own drunken devices here on Earth. Too much Patron + Cowboys playoff victory that also marked the pillaging of the Eagles THREE TIMES in one season + random encounter with a cute Dallas boy who was also on a victory high = very questionable judgment.

It’s almost a blessing to my emotional state (and reputation) that we didn’t go any further in the playoffs.

I always ended up in the middle of these pictures. But look at that face! It was like my birthday and Christmas and possibly Valentine's Day all ended up on the same day!

...and I never stopped smiling.

Sorry just had to post one more. Best night ever. We waited a LONG time for this. And Mike looks like a pimp in this picture.

3. The Longhorns made it to the National Championship. And that’s about all I have to say to that. Not only did Colt McCoy and Jordan Shipley have to go through the most terrible “what the f**k was that sh*t?!” championship game, um, EVER…they both were rewarded with one-way tickets to careers in Ohio. Insult to injury, much?

They did not hook 'em...

Trust me, there is more…

..Continue reading..

I blame a lot on Patron right now. I’m on a strict no Patron policy for the foreseeable future until I can trust myself again. Regardless, I’m back. Possibly because I’m tired of people asking me why I’m not writing anymore. Possibly because I know I have to do something other than read the Twilight books, eat Chinese food, bake cupcakes, hang out with gay guys and Feng Shui my apartment. See what happens to me when I’m going through football and hockey withdrawals AND dealing with a broken heart? Ridiculousness ensues. Having said that, I’m still cranky. So I’d like to complain about all the things I find wrong with sports during the summer months (including the two months we just lived through):

1. The Lakers. Ugh. Their fans ANNOY ME. Most of all, and I’ve mentioned this before, the traffic they cause during playoffs is the bane of my existence in Los Angeles for however many weeks it takes them to end their season…I pray to God for early elimination. Oh but that’s right, they’re not the Mavericks.  Anyway, I know LA traffic sucks balls every other day of the year. But game day traffic makes my commute home even more unbearable than it already is. Because all these rich ass h0les who live up in the valley are the epitome of fair weather fans and only go to games when 90% of ticket prices are in the triple digits. Between the income loss of the writers’ strike and the cost of the Lakers parade and now the Michael Jackson Memorial…I think I saw the Mayor of Los Angeles selling cherries on a street corner. Every penny counts these days, I hear.

2. Stupid playoff songs. I mean, really? The birthday sex song is painfully lame enough as is, inserting a team name and additional mentally challenged verses into it isn’t going to make it better. Just saying.

3. The NHL playoffs. It never fails that whoever wins the Stanley Cup, I lose. I need to just give up thinking there will be a team in the playoffs that I can cheer for through all four rounds. My taste in teams is much like my taste in guys. They’re amazing during the regular season when it’s all fun, games, drinking and screwing around…but when it comes to playoffs and the time to get serious and committed? Forget about it. It’s just MUCH easier for them to watch it all go down from a distance or on the golf course. Apparently the Stanley Cup and I aren’t worth extra effort. But on a lighter note, we both love champagne!

Now having said that, what was a loss for me was actually quite a gain for the NHL (and a total wet dream come true for Gary Bettman). The Detroit Red Wings playing The Second Coming of Jesus (and oh yeah the rest of the Penguins) in a game 7 on a Friday night on network television. I’d love to know how many times Bettman had to dry an eye or change his pants.

4. OTAs. More like WTFs. It’s like weeks of hot and heavy foreplay knowing you’re not getting any real action for THREE MORE MONTHS. It’s excruciating. Cock teases, much? And what’s that you say? Roy Williams had a few good catches today? GREAT, he’s good at a little over the shirt action, but talk to me again when the clothes come off. Don’t even get me started on the Cowboys draft this year. The sexual analogies I can make with that aren’t very ladylike. And my parents might be reading this.

5. Baseball. I tried it. Turns out I just don’t care. And what’s the point of even trying to care before the all-star break? SERIOUSLY? I’ll go to a Dodger game any day of the week (or a Rangers game if I was home), drink too much beer and have a hot dog…but don’t make me watch on TV and for the love of all that’s holy, don’t make me log into my fantasy team. Cause I stopped doing that almost two months ago. Trying to figure out why no one has asked to trade for my good players yet, actually.

6. The Stars losing their collective minds…again. Since I looked at the Kings two seasons before this last one and thought to myself “hey, THERE is the type of coach I want on my team!”

Ah, I feel better now.

But not really, I’d be scared. More like save a Zamboni, ride a hockey player (yeah, -1 for the legitimacy of this blog now…)

Anyhow, I haven’t gotten up early on a Saturday a.m. to drive miles upon miles to a pro hockey practice in a “I don’t even remember” amount of time. And I used to do it CONSTANTLY, it was a part time job that I took on with great pleasure. My car knew how to get from Denton to the StarCenter in Valley Ranch on its own, I could’ve been blind folded and asleep and still arrived in time to see the first player skate out. I’d stay for the entire session, then hang in the parking lot with various friends, obtaining any wanted autographs or pictures, until the last guy had left. Followed by lunch at Boston Market or Cowboys Cafe (still the best damn nachos ever). Those were the days. I bled green and gold.

Somewhere along the way it lost its luster. We won the Cup, everything changed. Attending practice came with new rules and regulations, the players became a little more douchebaggey, the players I cared about moved on, the team eventually made the move to a new shiny facility in Frisco and at some point…THEY STARTED GETTING YOUNGER THAN ME. (Please note there are at least two players on the Kings roster right now born in 1989…shoot me).

I made the executive decision to attend Kings training camp yesterday, which started Friday. They practice at the Toyota Sports Complex in El Segundo, down by LAX. The Lakers train there as well, however, their side of the building might as well be a storage facility for weapons of mass destruction (now we know!), security is so plentiful and tight.

Overall, I had a great time. I met some fantastic new people, got to see some hockey (…players), and was reminded how much I LOVE this sport, even the smell of the ice. I don’t really like the Kings, as they’re in the Stars division. However, it’s not like they’re those nasty birds down in Anaheim. It would be kinda like seeing the Redskins in person, I don’t care for them since they’re a divisional rival. But it’s not like walking into a room full of Eagles (or Eagles fans) voluntarily. [Insert horrified face here]. But let’s face it, my team is over 1200 miles away, so the Kings are what I’m stuck with. And in a refreshing twist, they actually brought in a player I’ve followed for a few years, Denis Gauthier – a former Flames d-man (we loves defensemen, precious). So, what the hell…I can’t be a Kings fan all together, but let’s at least start with “a” King.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1yP69JRQFA]

That video is pointless. I was testing out my crappy camera. It’s just Gauthier skating, cause I’m sick in the head. But you get an idea of how close you get at practice.

This team doesn’t look bad, but they’re not strong. They’re extremely young, frighteningly so. It’s going to be like putting a college team in one of the strongest divisions of the NHL. But God bless them, they’re trying. Bringing in someone like Gauthier was a smart move (not just to catch my attention) because he’s a veteran d-man who was a victim of salary cap and a talented Flyers team forced to play in the minors last year. Bring him to a team like the Kings, not only does he get increased playing time in the N, but he can also mentor all the boys who I’m pretty sure just started walking a couple of weeks ago.

Other than that, they have good speed on offense, watch out for John Zeiler.

I miss the Stars and it was absolutely fantastic overhearing multiple conversations predicting the Stars as the team to beat and the pre-season favorite to win the Cup. To be sitting on the brink of potentially winning the Super Bowl and the Stanley Cup is enough to make my head prepare for explosion.

Took some pictures yesterday! ..Continue reading..

A few months ago someone (he’ll know who he is should he ever read this…I’ll decide if I should thank him later) made this bizarre suggestion that I should do a sports blog. But Nikki there are so many sports blogs, you say. And I say sweet Baby Jesus, you are correct! But this dude and my equally misinformed friends seem to think (suckers!) I am quite the anomaly. Sure there are plenty of vagina carrying humans who love a good athletic competition for time to time. However, it’s safe to say not too many of them let their interest border on questionable personality traits and/or behavior not befitting a reputable, professional young lady raised in the South. Well…f*ck that. I am who I am. And have I mentioned yet my team is better than yours? I can’t hear insults or unnecessary comments through five Super Bowl championships.

So I will attempt to do this. After all, I WAS a writer at some point in my life and have let those talents go to rubbish. Don’t expect a lot. I may not always make sense, I may not always be sober. I get a little too wrapped up and heated up sometimes to control the words coming out of my mouth…or via my text messages. I know what I’m talking about a good 99% of the time, if I don’t…I have a degree in bullshit (no really, it’s a public relations degree). Do expect a good dose of complete randomness. It’s what I do best.

Things you should know before we get started. I have been a Dallas Stars fan since they skated into Big D. I worshiped Mike Modano for a good portion of the beginning years, but gave that up when I realized the water I thought he walked on was actually frozen (pun totally intended). I’ve been all over North America for hockey purposes, stories which I’ll tell as we pass the coming days, weeks or however long you’ll listen (read?) me. I was born a Dallas Cowboys fan and would currently have Marion Barber’s babies even though my father would kill me. Hockey and football aren’t the only sports I follow, but they’re the ones I live and breathe. I detest the Detroit Red Wings and the Philadelphia Eagles with a undisputed and not to be rivaled red hot flaming passion. I play fantasy football and can be quite good at it (and so humble, too!) I used to DVR PTI, Around the Horn and NFL Live every day, but let them go in preparation for fall TV, but still keep up online…religiously. Wilbon is my homeboy. I’m desperately trying to NOT become a Lakers fan, despite the insistence of both my bosses and the fact I like the white boys on the team (I never like the white boys). Plus, the traffic the bandwagonners cause during playoffs annoys me like none other. Not a day goes by I don’t skim and/or actually read ESPN.com, Yahoo! Shutdown Corner, Deadspin, Blogging the Boys and wherever else my clicking takes me.

I have an opinion on everything. You may not agree, hell, many may not agree but I don’t really care. This is one area of my life where I don’t actually care what people think. Enjoy my passion, it’s pure entertainment. I get agitated, I shake, I scream out demands for Donovan McNabb’s painful destruction.

I hope you enjoy, recommend the blog to those who would have fun with it, make comments, LOTS of comments…and get your popcorn ready. (Lord, that was cheesy).