It’s been a very, VERY busy time at CLSL the last 12 days. And I have you to thank for that, Readers. Well, mostly Miles Austin and all the crazyspices searching for information about his personal life or pictures of him nekkid. But you, too. In those 12 days my hits have been into the multitudes of thousands, numbers I’d reached all together in the MONTHS leading up to the switch to the official domain. Months, not days. It’s pretty bad ass. Because of that I made a few changes. I fancified the header, having Photoshop back in my life has its advantages. Thanks, again, to the quote from LittleMoe. Anyone who uses Varsity Blues to compliment a person is aces in my book. I re-did the about me section and added an FAQ page. Did I make most of the questions up? Absolutely. However, I just KNOW that people actually think them.

It’s search term share time again. As always, I’ve got some doozies. The stuff you people look for on the interwebs is astounding. But entertaining nonetheless. Especially since it somehow leads you here. I’ll take what I can get.

1. “[insert several athletes names here] nude.” Next to general searches for Miles Austin and Jamie Langenbrunner, pervs looking for nekkid athletes is at the top of the list of what leads people here. I hate to disappoint them ALL, but there’s nothing here about any nude players. That’s better left for the imagination.

…wait, what were we talking about?

2. “lady giants patron.” I don’t even know what this means. And it’s generated several hits. Am I missing out on something? Is this some new hip cocktail the kids are drinking?

3. “me at the bengals game.” I’m dead serious. Someone typed that in. I know how it led them here, but still, it’s hilarious. What goes through someone’s head when they search for that? Let me do some googling to find out if there’s anything about me being at a pro football game. Cause I’m kind of a big deal.

Not really. But welcome!

4. “matt niskanen lost myself lyric.” Hmmm…a Niskanen original recording? “matt niskanen dating”. I wouldn’t call what young hockey players do dating. “real men wear pink niskanen ad campaign.” A hockey player, recording artist AND model…apparently.

5. “tony romo gay caught with marion barber”. SERIOUSLY? Whoever you are, I’m glad you have the internet to hide behind. Barber will cut you.

6. “miles austin eye color.” They’re a color I like to call GORGEOUS. (Too much?)

7. “character traits of Donovan McNabb.” Is mentally unstable a character trait? How about insecurity? Jackassery? I’ll stop.

8. “ed hochuli penis.” I can’t make this up. Cause WHY would I make that up?

9. “crazy lil sports lady.” True story! And that’s me! *waves*

10. “taylor lautner longhorn.” HA! My plan, it’s working…

The downside of talking about Taylor is the sudden appearance spam comments linking to naked pictures of Miley Cyrus and Kim Kardashian. Since THOSE are applicable to this blog. Well, apparently anyone naked is. Good times.

With everything I read and watch about sports, it’s sometimes difficult to retain ALL the information. I have to leave SOME room for shoes, what happened on this week’s Grey’s Anatomy and actual current events. And there’s only so many brain cells left that alcohol hasn’t killed (those we lost, they put up a good fight). I tend to remember the info under the categories of “random crap” or “crap I disagree with”.

FOR EXAMPLE, sometime last week I caught up on some Stars reading at the Dallas Morning News website. Mike Heika has always been the main man for the Stars over there and I’ve generally never had issues with him. He was hockey when hockey wasn’t cool. However, during a recent Q&A this is pretty much how it went…

Q: What should the Stars do about Coach Tippett? A. Blah blah blah or wait till the summer.

Q: What should the Stars do about Marty Turco? A. Blah blah blah, no trade clause, blah blah blah or wait till the summer.

Q: What should the Stars do about this ridiculous system of having two GMs? Especially two GMs who have compeletley different playing philosophies? A. WAIT FOR IT…blah blah blah or wait till the summer.

DUDE, it’s freakin’ DECEMBER! I don’t care to wait until goddamn June to fix my bottom the the barrel team. A

Would the real Turco please come home?!

team that, need I remind you, made it to the Western Conference Finals last season. Please to be fixing them sometime within the near futute, thanks! Heika’s argument is that in the 15 years the Stars have been in Dallas, we’ve rarely seen lean times. I call shenanigans. With the talent this team has, how far they got last season, there is no excuse. My advice? Ditch a GM and make a change in coach. I guarantee you, we’ll at least get our goalie back in form if that goes down. I know things.

Maybe I’m a little bit frightened that I find myself checking to see how the Kings did before I see if the Stars even played. Just because IF the Stars did play, the inevitable outcome would be another kick in the balls. (Please note I don’t actually have balls).

Speaking of disgruntled fans, EXAMPLE TWO, I was watching today’s PTI while whipping up some din din and one of the boys, while discussing the fate of Donovan McNabb, said Philly fans are all about “what have you done for me lately.” This comment has me torn in two. The bitch in me who loathes Philly fans says kharma is a dirty whore and she’ll f*ck you over when she can. Therefore, if you put a little more nice into the universe you might just get a little bit more back! However, the sypathetic fan in me (and I’m not happy about saying this…) wonders if you can really blame them for being dicks about it? The Eagles have never been able to seal the deal. Although that colors me all sorts of giddy (sitting on top of 5 Super Bowl championships, no less), it has to suck to be them. Having said that, hell hath not frozen over, I will never be able to tolerate them (there’s an exception to every rule, however) and they’ve got the World Series to nurse for awhile…just saying I CAN look at two signs of the coin. Otherwise, I’d be contradicting all the whining I just did about the Stars. Think about it.

A few months ago someone (he’ll know who he is should he ever read this…I’ll decide if I should thank him later) made this bizarre suggestion that I should do a sports blog. But Nikki there are so many sports blogs, you say. And I say sweet Baby Jesus, you are correct! But this dude and my equally misinformed friends seem to think (suckers!) I am quite the anomaly. Sure there are plenty of vagina carrying humans who love a good athletic competition for time to time. However, it’s safe to say not too many of them let their interest border on questionable personality traits and/or behavior not befitting a reputable, professional young lady raised in the South. Well…f*ck that. I am who I am. And have I mentioned yet my team is better than yours? I can’t hear insults or unnecessary comments through five Super Bowl championships.

So I will attempt to do this. After all, I WAS a writer at some point in my life and have let those talents go to rubbish. Don’t expect a lot. I may not always make sense, I may not always be sober. I get a little too wrapped up and heated up sometimes to control the words coming out of my mouth…or via my text messages. I know what I’m talking about a good 99% of the time, if I don’t…I have a degree in bullshit (no really, it’s a public relations degree). Do expect a good dose of complete randomness. It’s what I do best.

Things you should know before we get started. I have been a Dallas Stars fan since they skated into Big D. I worshiped Mike Modano for a good portion of the beginning years, but gave that up when I realized the water I thought he walked on was actually frozen (pun totally intended). I’ve been all over North America for hockey purposes, stories which I’ll tell as we pass the coming days, weeks or however long you’ll listen (read?) me. I was born a Dallas Cowboys fan and would currently have Marion Barber’s babies even though my father would kill me. Hockey and football aren’t the only sports I follow, but they’re the ones I live and breathe. I detest the Detroit Red Wings and the Philadelphia Eagles with a undisputed and not to be rivaled red hot flaming passion. I play fantasy football and can be quite good at it (and so humble, too!) I used to DVR PTI, Around the Horn and NFL Live every day, but let them go in preparation for fall TV, but still keep up online…religiously. Wilbon is my homeboy. I’m desperately trying to NOT become a Lakers fan, despite the insistence of both my bosses and the fact I like the white boys on the team (I never like the white boys). Plus, the traffic the bandwagonners cause during playoffs annoys me like none other. Not a day goes by I don’t skim and/or actually read ESPN.com, Yahoo! Shutdown Corner, Deadspin, Blogging the Boys and wherever else my clicking takes me.

I have an opinion on everything. You may not agree, hell, many may not agree but I don’t really care. This is one area of my life where I don’t actually care what people think. Enjoy my passion, it’s pure entertainment. I get agitated, I shake, I scream out demands for Donovan McNabb’s painful destruction.

I hope you enjoy, recommend the blog to those who would have fun with it, make comments, LOTS of comments…and get your popcorn ready. (Lord, that was cheesy).