This book might have made me like baseball a little bit more

I hate reading books where authors write to hear their own voices. Look at me I’m so smart, I know all these fancy words and amazing information, blah blah blah. I LOVE books about the history of the movie industry. But the ones that don’t read like text books and/or weren’t written by snooty d-bags are few and far between.

Despite the fact I am a frequent visitor to Deadspin, there was just something about “God Save the Fan” that made me hesitant to read it. I was afraid it was going to be like someone puked all their insane sports knowledge into one book. But I bore witness to Buzz Bissinger’s attempted rape and ass chewing of Will Leitch on Costas Now, so I knew at some point I had to read this book. And lucky for Leitch, my “God Save the Fan” was paperback and my “Men With Balls” is hardback and I was flying. I detest flying with hardbacks. See how I make decisions? Just go with what’s lighter and softer. Apparently I make all life choices as if I was picking out toilet paper.

Anyhow, my worries about “God Save the Fan” proved absolutely, positively untrue. I zoomed through this book during my trip, which is astounding since I barely have free time when in freak convention mode. I started in on it the minute I finished “The Football Fan’s Manifesto”, which actually didn’t help my hesitations because Manifesto is bloody hilarious. No one wants to go back to class after recess. But “God Save the Fan” is not only up to snuff humor wise, but also very informative in a not so in your face I’m smarter than you, dumb ass sort of way. The only chapter that threw me was about race relations in player/fan relationships, so to speak. I think I knew what he was trying to say and I THINK I agree with him, it’s just the type of chapter you read and at some point go “wait, what?” Other than that, the Fans section (in which you can find said chapter) is by far my favorite.

Backing up, I have to give Leitch mucho kudos not only for watching ESPN for 24 hours straight, cause really I can’t deal with much more than PTI after I watch one round of SportsCenter on MUTE in the morning at the gym (and the occasional viewing of NFL Live), but also for dedicating an entire chapter to his continued fanship of a Could Have Been. I talk about former NHL player Petr Buzek a LOT on here and my fanship of him falls into that category. He was a Could Have Been. But I still love him. Something tells me Leitch didn’t want to have Rick Ankiel’s babies, but still, you get the gist.

Back to the aforementioned Fans section, it holds lots of truisms. How our love for our fantasy team can outweigh that of our actual team on occasion because we are actually somewhat in control and his guide for “How Not to be a Jerk at a Baseball Game”, in my opinion, crosses the lines of all professional sporting events. Especially why it’s unfortunately not cool to cut the annoying kid behind you, etc. In addition, his stories about a small Cardinals group that formed in New York during their World Series run epitomizes a lot of the ways I love my Cowboys group here in Los Angeles. I’ve often thought about what I would do when we make it to the Super Bowl again. First and foremost, I OBVIOUSLY would try to go. But what if I don’t? Do I go home? Do I stay here? I’d like to think I would stay here, because the way Leitch and his fellow Cards fans celebrated the NLCS is the way I’ve envisioned victory would be for our little group:

Suddenly, the bar wheeled out cheap champagne…I shook up two bottles and sprayed anybody in sight, then poured a bottle over my own head. Then I grabbed two more and repeated the process.

The madness continued for about two hours…everyone in the bar was immediately bonded for life at that point, and we busted out digital cameras and Kodaks and anything to help us record what was happening. I kissed a woman I had never seen and might have been standing next to her husband, who just smiled and danced.

The night wore on, and nobody stopped screaming until 3 a.m.

P.S. Two days till THE VEGAS!

A few months ago someone (he’ll know who he is should he ever read this…I’ll decide if I should thank him later) made this bizarre suggestion that I should do a sports blog. But Nikki there are so many sports blogs, you say. And I say sweet Baby Jesus, you are correct! But this dude and my equally misinformed friends seem to think (suckers!) I am quite the anomaly. Sure there are plenty of vagina carrying humans who love a good athletic competition for time to time. However, it’s safe to say not too many of them let their interest border on questionable personality traits and/or behavior not befitting a reputable, professional young lady raised in the South. Well…f*ck that. I am who I am. And have I mentioned yet my team is better than yours? I can’t hear insults or unnecessary comments through five Super Bowl championships.

So I will attempt to do this. After all, I WAS a writer at some point in my life and have let those talents go to rubbish. Don’t expect a lot. I may not always make sense, I may not always be sober. I get a little too wrapped up and heated up sometimes to control the words coming out of my mouth…or via my text messages. I know what I’m talking about a good 99% of the time, if I don’t…I have a degree in bullshit (no really, it’s a public relations degree). Do expect a good dose of complete randomness. It’s what I do best.

Things you should know before we get started. I have been a Dallas Stars fan since they skated into Big D. I worshiped Mike Modano for a good portion of the beginning years, but gave that up when I realized the water I thought he walked on was actually frozen (pun totally intended). I’ve been all over North America for hockey purposes, stories which I’ll tell as we pass the coming days, weeks or however long you’ll listen (read?) me. I was born a Dallas Cowboys fan and would currently have Marion Barber’s babies even though my father would kill me. Hockey and football aren’t the only sports I follow, but they’re the ones I live and breathe. I detest the Detroit Red Wings and the Philadelphia Eagles with a undisputed and not to be rivaled red hot flaming passion. I play fantasy football and can be quite good at it (and so humble, too!) I used to DVR PTI, Around the Horn and NFL Live every day, but let them go in preparation for fall TV, but still keep up online…religiously. Wilbon is my homeboy. I’m desperately trying to NOT become a Lakers fan, despite the insistence of both my bosses and the fact I like the white boys on the team (I never like the white boys). Plus, the traffic the bandwagonners cause during playoffs annoys me like none other. Not a day goes by I don’t skim and/or actually read ESPN.com, Yahoo! Shutdown Corner, Deadspin, Blogging the Boys and wherever else my clicking takes me.

I have an opinion on everything. You may not agree, hell, many may not agree but I don’t really care. This is one area of my life where I don’t actually care what people think. Enjoy my passion, it’s pure entertainment. I get agitated, I shake, I scream out demands for Donovan McNabb’s painful destruction.

I hope you enjoy, recommend the blog to those who would have fun with it, make comments, LOTS of comments…and get your popcorn ready. (Lord, that was cheesy).