Between the work and the hurt and the whiskey

You know you’ve been away too long when you come back to find the ads pop up for you as Overstock.com and some political campaign. Someone needs to get her priorities straight. Having said that, I have every intention of getting back into the swing of things. If I don’t die of mosquito bite poisoning. For those of you keeping score at home -  Mosquitoes: 26; Nikki: 0. Welcome back to Texas.

So this is what actually happened while you thought I was dead and look! I have pictures to prove it!:

1. The Cowboys beat the Eagles in the last game of the regular season to secure home field advantage in the Wild Card game. Yes, we’re going back that far. Because I can and life was good. Vindication for that bitch slap of a game we went through at the end of the previous year.

My last regular season game with the Cowboys group, sad!

2. The Cowboys ALSO beat the Eagles in the Wild Card game. 100 words could not describe how I felt that night. If God himself came down to Santa Monica and took me away I would’ve offered him a tequila shot and gladly gone with a smile on my face and “Such a Night” playing in my heart. Instead, I was left to my own drunken devices here on Earth. Too much Patron + Cowboys playoff victory that also marked the pillaging of the Eagles THREE TIMES in one season + random encounter with a cute Dallas boy who was also on a victory high = very questionable judgment.

It’s almost a blessing to my emotional state (and reputation) that we didn’t go any further in the playoffs.

I always ended up in the middle of these pictures. But look at that face! It was like my birthday and Christmas and possibly Valentine's Day all ended up on the same day!

...and I never stopped smiling.

Sorry just had to post one more. Best night ever. We waited a LONG time for this. And Mike looks like a pimp in this picture.

3. The Longhorns made it to the National Championship. And that’s about all I have to say to that. Not only did Colt McCoy and Jordan Shipley have to go through the most terrible “what the f**k was that sh*t?!” championship game, um, EVER…they both were rewarded with one-way tickets to careers in Ohio. Insult to injury, much?

They did not hook 'em...

Trust me, there is more…

4. I went to the PBR in Anaheim and had a sober picture taken with J.B. Mauney. At the time he was the number one rider in the world. Then he met me…it’s been all downhill for the poor kid since. Including a collapsed lung a few weeks ago.

Mama, don't let you babies grow up to be cowboys

5. I finally went to a basketball game in Los Angeles. But it was the Clippers so I’m not sure it counted? Upshot was we were in a suite with all you can eat hot wings and an open bar.

Some of my best friends in Hell Ay and yes, my hair is actually curly

6. I left Los Angeles. It was a bittersweet moment. Living there was a dream come true and I wouldn’t have changed a thing. But it was time to go home. A little part of me will always be an Angeleno. And might just be rooting for the Lakers right now. They are the lesser of two evils and I think 49 states can agree on the douchebaggery of Masshole fans.

The Cowboys group at my going away party, they all showed up...they'll never know how much that meant to me

7. I went to the PBR in Dallas, finally got to see Cowboys Stadium and had a not -so-sober picture taken with J.B. Mauney. I have a self imposed no squeezing bull riders rule now. My father, on the other hand, wants to get this autographed.

P.S. that Stadium is everything you think it’s cracked up to be. I’m pretty sure the water that comes out of the bathroom faucets has unicorn tears in it.

Collapsed lung...coincidence?

The most distracting structure in all of pro sports, no lie

8. I went to the Kentucky Derby. This was a bucket list item checked off, a dream come true, really. I had entirely too much fun, despite the fact we got stuck in the Nashville floods coming home. But it was amazing. And I like bourbon, who knew? This will probably have its own post soon. Stay tuned.

Derby bound with a bunch of Ohio State boys

135 years of sports legend, amazing!

9. I went to a Rangers game and realized that I actually do like baseball. But I’d still rather watch grass grow over baseball on TV, not gonna lie. This is also the night I started realizing me ever being a girl (outside of my shoe obsession) might be a lost cause…I spent a Friday evening at a baseball game and Hooters with my two best guy friends, as opposed to trying to meet someone new and/or finding a date. This does not bode well for my (second) chances at matrimony and reproduction. Sigh.

I look terrible in this picture, but whatever...you know you like that 19 on my necklace, speaking of which...

10. Miles Austin joined Twitter. And one of my guardian angels lost its wings. To make matters worse, turns out he lives in the same neighborhood I work and hang out in ALL THE TIME. But I guess none of this will matter if HE DOESN’T SIGH HIS CONTRACT. I’m really not that worried though, he’s got this.

I have to go scratch now.